Learning and Unlearning: My journey with classical Indian music
Essay (pasted below):
The room was silent except for the shuffling of feet and the thoughts racing through my mind. My friends and I were seated in the audience, wearing colorful sarees, gold earrings, and glass bangles that rattled on our shaking hands. The moment we were waiting for finally arrived: the awards for the annual classical Indian music competition were to be announced. No matter what happens, our dedication to this piece will not go to waste, I reminded myself. As the judges ascended the stage, with mics in their hands, they soon called our names, congratulating us and revealing that we were the winners of the Sivan Fine Arts Academy’s competition. The surreal moment was followed by the enormous crowd erupting in applause and the pure look of happiness radiating on my guru’s face. Amidst the joy, I knew that this was only the beginning of my lifelong journey with music.
For as long as I can remember, classical Indian music, in all its beauty and complexity, kept me motivated each day, piquing my interest to further explore this artform. As a child, I marveled at the renditions of talented singers as the words rapidly escaped their mouths in compelling rhythms and melodies. In the realm of classical Indian music, I took inspiration from the most renowned musicians and my guru, each one of them hitting every note with impeccable precision and grace and further cultivating my curiosity.
The more I started to get involved in music, the more I began to dedicate time and energy into becoming the best student possible. As a novice, I yearned for the speed and precision of professional singers. During concerts, I was amazed as musicians sang in synchronization with the classical drums’ exact beats. I spent hours after every class experimenting with different rhythms, memorizing lines of notes, and matching my pitch as I sang quickly and breathlessly.
My guru told me that, “Music keeps the mind, body, and spirit in alignment.” I sought her guidance to help me achieve that speed, accuracy, and alignment, only to realize that my efforts had been in vain when I started learning a challenging musical piece for a competition. Eager as always to learn more, I walked through the door of her basement, sat down on the floor, and was ready to begin singing.
I sang to my guru as I had practiced for days: precise beats, speed, and lots of memorization.
Shortly after, my guru responded, “Your notes and diction are correct. However, you’re lacking mental focus, and your singing is devoid of authenticity. Take a step back and truly listen to your song. You will realize that music is like a flowing river, every note being unique in its own way.”
Taken aback, I wondered what I was doing wrong and how my guru came to this conclusion after so briefly analyzing me.
As I developed a more profound relationship with her, identifying every little nuance that added to this musical piece while following a new approach in my practice, I gradually came to appreciate her abstract approach and the real beauty of music. Rather than approaching music analytically, I learned to take a step back and explore each note’s linkage to other notes and how it shaped countless Indian melodies. As I discovered the meaning of every word, I attempted to convey a story through my musical performances: one that expressed deep emotion while honoring the rich history of Indian music. My journey with music has taught me hard work and patience, allowed me to form lifelong relationships, fostered my deep-rooted passion both on and off stage, helped me serve the community, and given me a greater appreciation for my heritage. Classical Indian music is a fundamental part of my identity, and through respecting it, I strive to maintain its genuine meaning: a celebration of the existence and free spirit of the human voice.
